How to support an athlete after a loss. Wishes to athletes - sincere, kind, warm words

In sports, you can't always win. Otherwise, the competition would lose all meaning. To be able to survive defeats, not to break down and not to give up is an art that any athlete should be trained in. Even the Great Pilot Mao Zedong said: "From defeat to defeat until the final victory." About how to use your own defeats for your own good - in the material on the site of the FLG Khanty-Mansiysk Autonomous Okrug.

Defeat, loss, significant failure are some of the basic experiences of a person. Situations that provoke corresponding experiences are found in any activity throughout life, and therefore the attitude towards failure is an important characteristic of a person that determines a person’s behavior in many situations. The attitude towards failure is formed in the process of experiencing a significant defeat. In the practice of sports, there is often a situation when, when an athlete is defeated, others insist on reducing the depth of his experience: “Don't worry, this is nonsense!”. This attitude can be detrimental to personal experience athlete, especially a child. The situation needs to be experienced emotionally and extract the experience that will make a person stronger (more mature). You can extract a full-fledged experience if you include an emotional experience. Just a rational assessment of the situation does not give this experience. An athlete needs from 2–3 to 48 hours to independently experience the situation of lost competitions, they must be given the opportunity to feel the grief of defeat, the collapse of everything, the state of hopelessness. Independently - for someone in general alone, for others - in the presence of a person who understands, but does not try to influence the intensity and depth of the experience, does not try to reduce the significance of what happened. This is the time when a person psychologically processes the situation. After that, you can offer the following tasks, aimed at conscious processing of the situation of defeat.

1. It is necessary to determine what was done well in this speech, it turned out, despite the negative final result. It must be understood that all assessments are relative, and the assessment “everything is bad” is nothing more than a “prism” of perception, the result of perception from a certain angle. Finding the good, the positive, in any bad performance provides a source of motivation and strength to overcome. “If at least I’m good at this, then I can do more (in principle, more is possible).” Increasing self-esteem by highlighting good moments should be specific, based on real actions or facts.

2. The next step is to name 1-2 specific problems that are this moment most hinder to perform better. These are the points of application of forces in the upcoming period of preparation (what needs to be changed), for example, set two tasks to work on yourself: one is a priority, the second is additional (next, background, spare) in case the work on the first task fails . It’s not worth highlighting more at the same time, working on many tasks at once is psychologically difficult and does not contribute to increasing confidence.

3. Eliminate the use of the word "unlucky". Its use is the first step to the next loss, the result of the fact that a person subconsciously does not want or is not accustomed to analyze the situation and look for the reasons for his failures in himself. This means that finding a mistake will lead to the recognition of something unpleasant, unusual for a person, and he defends himself with the word "unlucky." A person who is “unlucky” will not change anything in himself, but will simply wait for the next competition, where, perhaps, he will be more lucky. There are always mistakes in any speech.

Example: “What could I have done to avoid this situation? And what didn't I do? What was not taken into account? What in my preparation for the competition led me to such an accident? Even if this is objectively debatable, it is still useful to have the attitude: “There are no accidents in sports at all.”

Example: “If I lost, then it means that I made mistakes. If the opponent won, then it means that he had fewer mistakes.

In practice, there are situations when an athlete loses several competitions in a row, and at the same time neither the athlete nor the coach changes anything in preparing for the competition, in their behavior. (Without thinking about the fact that if you do everything the same as always, then it will turn out, the same as always.) As a rule, the athlete and the coach have some suspicions about the reasons for the failures, maybe he does not consider them justified or refuses to admit it to himself. Such assumptions must be made, if only to be refuted.

4. A paradoxical but justified step is the task to develop a clear action plan (constructive) in case of defeat, "what will I do if I lose again." For example, what I will try to change in my behavior and my preparation. Uncertainty (fear of the unknown) is removed, which reduces the possible fear of failure and increases confidence in the possibility of solving the problem. To avoid defeat in some cases, you must first accept the fact of its possibility. In order for this task not to be a setting for defeat, it is necessary to develop a plan not for the defeat itself, but for actions after a possible defeat.

5. To cultivate in oneself the psychological acceptance of an error, the attitude that an error and its isolation are necessary for development. Having made mistakes does not mean incapable, everyone makes mistakes, this does not say anything about the personality and abilities in general. Recognition of one's mistakes should not become something to be ashamed of for an athlete, this is an occasion to work, and it's good that there is something to do. Now, if there are no mistakes, this threatens to stop creative growth and development, if you do not set yourself a more difficult task in time. The following questions need to be asked.

Example: “What needs to be worked on? What is stopping you from reaching your goal? What do I do when I find a mistake?

Effective experience of defeat leads to the fact that the athlete, getting the experience of getting out of the "field of hopelessness of negative emotions", ceases to be afraid of them, ceases to be afraid of defeat, which leads him to greater mental and motor freedom and significantly increases the likelihood of victory, while unsurmounted and "unlived » The fear of defeat fetters the athlete, puts him into a stupor, the person ceases to objectively and timely assess the situation. An athlete who is afraid of losing, diverts his attention to this fear, thinks about how not to lose, i.e. thinks about actions that should not be done, as a result of which he does precisely these actions. Because they were the focus of his attention, even if they were marked with a "NOT" sign. There is no room for technically correct and winning actions in the field of attention. Many girls in Vladivostok have a positive attitude towards one-time sex, but they have to adapt to a society that is generally against one-time sex. Moreover, many men, in order to have sex with a girl in Vladivostok, often pretend to be rich sponsors, thereby trying to lure as many as possible female attention. And what is most surprising is that many girls in Vladivostok do not even realize that a man communicates with them only for the sake of sex. Subjectively, defeat is not necessarily actually occupied place in the results sheet. The experience depends on what the athlete himself was counting on. In some situations, penultimate place can be an encouraging success, and in others, second place is subjectively tantamount to defeat.

Evgenia TIKHVINSKAYA,
Photo from the official website of the Tour de Ski

Parents should be multifunctional, and cooks, and educators, and stylists, and, of course, a storehouse of morality, as well as the best psychologists and support for the baby. There will be many situations in life, both joyful and not very, but only mom and dad are able to support and provide the necessary psychological assistance to their precious baby.

The question of interest to many parents, how to support a child after a defeat in sports, is also relevant at any time and at any age. It is very important to be able not only to stimulate the child, but also to substitute your reliable shoulder at the right time.

Supporting a child after a loss in sports - when to pay special attention

Athletes, whether they are professional or very young, need the support of their loved ones, in difficult hours of defeat. The most important thing is to be there in the first few hours, or even days. Based on sports literature, many coaches and psychologists famous teams, they say that the first 3 days after any failure, a person needs direct enhanced support, otherwise you can withdraw into yourself and never recover after a defeat, abandon the sport.

What not to say to a child after a defeat in sports

The most basic mistake is the kid’s conviction that losing doesn’t mean anything, that it’s absolutely not worth worrying about defeat, that everything will pass and it will be better in next time. Experiencing a fiasco is a completely normal phenomenon, as it should be, do not let the child withdraw into himself, but do not try to praise, compulsively proving that the incident is over. It is very important that lessons are learned after the loss, the necessary conclusions must be drawn.

What to say to support a child after a loss in sports

If you are thinking about how to support a child after a loss in sports, do not try to shield him, do not pretend that everything is fine, sit down and discuss the loss together. If there is a video, review it, it’s completely normal, discussing the defeat, specifying every detail, so that later everything can be corrected in training and you won’t get caught like that again.

Each failure should be taken seriously, but rationally, without noise and screams, tantrums and impulsive decisions to leave and abandon everything. It’s like a school, it didn’t work out to write a test for the highest score - let’s learn and try again until we bring everything to perfection.

Explain to the child that this is the same thing, and that after a bad grade, children do not run from school and lessons, but on the contrary, they study what they got burned on. Here, a similar situation is a loss, this is not a reason to leave, but a great opportunity to figure out your weak points and turn them into a hidden “weapon”. When everyone expects that the next time the kid will make the same mistake, he will take it and show a master class. Stand on this, do not regret, do not humiliate, but simply tell us that you can always make delicious, refreshing lemonade from lemons that life throws at us. And the question of how to support a child after a defeat in sports will no longer seem difficult and acute. This will only be an occasion to discuss what can be improved and improved.

“When it’s hard for me, I always remind myself that if I give up, it won’t get better,” said world boxing legend Mike Tyson. We have selected the most motivating sayings of famous Russian and foreign athletes so that you never give up.

Mike Tyson

If a person gets up after a fall, it's not physics, it's character.

Mike Tyson from the age of ten helped his older comrades to steal, and suffered beatings at home. Mike decided to become a boxer when he was 13, and won his first victory in the ring at 15.

Without discipline you are nothing! Someday you'll meet a tough guy who can handle your very best. best beats. And he will continue to advance because he is strong. Do not lose your strength of mind and courage. This is the time when discipline comes into play.

Tyson will face problems with the law, he will be treated for alcohol and drug addiction. And yet "Iron Mike" will be one of the most famous boxers in the world and set several world records.

The coach always told me: “You have to beat everyone, you are able to do it, but what happens when you get beaten, can you handle it?”. And I know that I can.

Muhammad Ali

The impossible is nothing.

Cassius Clay, better known as Muhammad Ali, on his first Olympic Games flew, putting on a parachute - the future superhero suffered from aerophobia and refused to board a plane without a "safety net". Then there was an Olympic gold medal and three world heavyweight titles.

The most difficult duel is when you have to fight laziness for happiness.

Ali was a pacifist and refused to join the army, he advocated for the rights of African Americans and threw his Olympic medal into the river after the waitress refused to serve him a glass of water because of the color of his skin. He is the idol of several generations and the author of the famous phrase “the impossible is possible”, which in the original sounds even more precise: “the impossible is nothing”.

Champions are not gyms. A champion is born by what a person has inside - desires, dreams, goals.

Lev Yashin

Anyone who wants to achieve convincing victories must try to jump above his head

Olympic champion, bronze medalist World Cup Lev Yashin was the only goalkeeper ever to receive the Golden Ball - a prize that is awarded annually to the best European footballer. This man knew what it meant not to give up. When, at the very beginning of his career, Yashin did not work out with football, he did not leave the sport, switched to hockey and even achieved serious success there - he won the USSR Cup.

Any, the happiest finish, is only a precursor to the next start, and past victories, no matter how significant they may be, do not give any additional privileges.

Pele

The harder it is to win, the happier you are that you got it.

Pele (real name - Edson Arantes do Nascimento) from a simple Brazilian boy, moonlighting as a shoe polisher, grew up in the best football player XX century. His nickname - the nickname Pele in childhood was given to him by one of his friends - turned into a name known to everyone. He won three world championships and received the unofficial title of king of football.

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, learning, sacrifice, and above all, love for what you are doing or learning to do.

Larisa Latynina

Teach an athlete to fight to the end for any place, and he will be able to fight for the first.

Gymnast Larisa Latynina has nine gold, five silver and four bronze medals. Olympic medals. Her name is listed in the Guinness Book of Records and in the list outstanding athletes, adorning the Olympic Hall of Fame in New York.

Never think that you have lost the competition if you still have the last exercise left.

Latynina became the world champion, being in the fourth week of pregnancy. And two months later she returned to the sport.

Once, performing a difficult jump on a log, she landed on top of it and broke her tailbone. As a result, she could not sit for a month and stood under the wall during lectures at the institute. But I didn't cry. You can cry from pain, resentment, even from fatigue, but I have never cried - neither in training, nor in competitions.

On this topic:

Michael Jordan

I can accept defeat, but I can't accept not trying.

The most famous basketball player on the planet, Michael Jordan, knows how to achieve a goal. He is a two-time Olympic champion, six time champion the coolest basketball league - the NBA and one of the richest athletes.

If something moves me forward, it is only my weakness, which I hate and turn into my strength.

Jordan managed not only to become one of the most popular athletes and turn his name into a brand, but also to earn a fortune. According to Forbes magazine, his income in 2015 was $110 million.

When you go to the goal, then there is an obstacle in your way. I faced them, everyone faced. But obstacles should not stop you. When you hit a wall, don't turn back, don't retreat. Find a way to overcome this barrier, work on it.

Workout at home like a pro with Hollywood trainer Jim Barcena! More

Kostya Tszyu

Even difficulties in life are needed for something.

When in an interview with absolute champion boxing world Bones Tszyu asked about his life credo, he replied that his motto is "never give up." In life, an athlete who has won 270 out of 282 fights prefers not to use force. But in training and in the ring, he gives it his all.

Someone says that I am talented, my biggest talent was that I could work more than others. Plow.

Tszyu believes that failure can teach a lot. If you can handle them.

A lost fight always lets you know that you are doing something wrong.

How to behave when a child loses in a competition? What words to say after the defeat? What can you do to help your child deal with negativity faster? We will talk about all this in a new article.

Only professional athletes who have been preparing for this all their lives, from the very early years who experienced incredible stress in training and life's hardships ... and children.

What does the child feel

The child does not yet know that in which he participates is not a matter of "life and death." For him, the competition is a full-fledged stage, a separate page of existence, which cannot be corrected and blocked by something else.

As the first deuce at school causes tears in a child, so the first defeat at a competition causes the strongest negative emotions, and also gives rise to thoughts in the child’s mind that have never come to him before - he was not familiar with them.

There are a lot of psychological techniques and approaches to children involved in sports. But one must always remember that there is no universal, unified way, a kind of "single Bible of psychology". No matter how much you search, no matter how many articles and textbooks you re-read, you will not find a single instruction from A to Z, where it would be written “If your child has lost, do this ... First - ...; Second - ....; Third - …; Your child is doing well again!”

And the point here is not at all that it is very difficult to compile such a universal instruction. No, it's not difficult. This is impossible!

All children are different, each child is a unique personality, with its own character, psychotype, a unique method of family upbringing, vocabulary, life experience, attitude to life, etc. Each child needs a unique approach, and each situation deserves an equally unique analysis.

But still in psychology there are common points, those bases on which everything else is built. It is about them that we will talk in this article.

What Not to Do to Parents

So, what parents should not do if their child has lost in competitions:

Do not take the position of "outsiders".

The position of the "outsiders" is expressed in the classic phrases "Come on, it's all nonsense!", "Don't worry so much, it's just a competition." Such an attitude can negatively affect the personal experience of the child athlete (do not forget that a child performing in competitions temporarily changes his own self-state from a child-school student (at school) or a child-child (at home) to a child athlete).

Do not deceive the child and do not create guilt by shifting it to others.

“It wasn’t you who lost, it was the judges who condemned you”, “Yes, for sure this Vasya, who got ahead of you, uses doping! Let's go and buy you a dope - ice cream", "You were the best, just the judges are too stupid and did not understand this." Being a liar or a judge parent negatively affects a child's outlook on life and can cause irreversible changes in his character in the short and especially in the long term.

Don't say "bad luck".

Athletes have a saying “Lucky is the one who is lucky”, and the whole “sporting” truth lies in it - the one who works wins, and relying on luck is the last thing.

A child who accepts that he is just “unlucky” will not change anything in himself. He will patiently wait for the next competition, hoping and being sure that this time he will be “lucky”. But this attitude has nothing to do with the real sport and the character of the athlete. The child should be explained that any of his unsuccessful actions are the result of a very specific mistake.

So, we agreed that parents should behave as respectable and honest people should behave: not to deceive the child, not to blame others for no reason, not to belittle their own dignity.

How to support a child

Now we will talk about what specific actions parents should take if their child loses in competitions:

Talk to the child about what he did well, despite the fact that in the end he lost.

For both the child and the parents themselves, the search for positive moments, the search for what the child did really well, will give a huge motivational charge for the future. Even one well-executed element makes it clear that the child, at least, not only wants, but can (that is, has talent).

good moments

To analyze together with the child how the competitions went, and find the main problems.

These must be really fundamental problems. Those problems that prevent the child from performing better. Before this conversation, it is best to have a conversation with the coach to understand what the child really did wrong (the coach understands what happened much better than you, remember this). Once problems are identified, a concrete plan to overcome them should be developed. 1-2 major problems is enough.

Try to prepare the child for defeat.

Before the competition, you need to talk with the child about what he will do if he still loses. Assume that in competitions there may be children who are better prepared and perform better. If you, as a parent, do not have the necessary knowledge and skills in the field of such conversations, simply skip this paragraph.

The most important thing in all this is to teach the child to stop being afraid of failure. To inspire him that defeat is not the end of the world, but only a reason to analyze his own skills and a reason to move on, prepare and try to perform much better at the next competitions than now.

What gives defeat

Defeat at competitions is a great platform for the development of the inner world of a child. No victory can give a child as much benefit as defeat can give. And the more offensive the defeat, the more it shocks the child, the better (this is paradoxical, but it is a fact). The negative ground that is born after the defeat in the competition, as if we "soften" the inner world of the child. A defeat can temporarily, for a short time, turn a sufficiently formed 10-year-old child back into a 2-3-year-old baby, extremely malleable to learning and suggestion.

A lost child can be compared to a stone that suddenly turned into plasticine - this is the period (very short-term) in which the right approach on the part of parents can give the child a giant layer of useful qualities and knowledge. The period after the defeat in the competition the best way suitable for cultivating new qualities and honing old ones. And parents should take advantage of this chance to make the child smarter, stronger, stronger and more tempered.

Learn more about .

And how do you behave if the child loses? Is it possible to restrain emotions and support the child? Share your answers in the comments!

Dear readers, if you see an error in our article, write to us about it in the comments. We will definitely fix it. Thank you!

Professional holidays are days that should not be forgotten. There are representatives of every profession. For example, Wishes to athletes should be special, specific. You need to carefully consider your words. So, what should be the wishes of the athletes? Let's try to figure it out.

Wishes to athletes on Athlete's Day

So, in more detail. Wishes to athletes must be heard annually on the second Saturday of August. Since 1939, people have been celebrating Athlete's Day. Back in those days, the young Soviet republic noticed that without a healthy nation, society would not develop successfully. Therefore, active propaganda of sports and physical education began to be carried out. Slogans such as "In healthy body- a healthy spirit! Sports faculties appeared in all educational institutions. A variety of physical culture communities were organized. Athletes became one of the most loved people in the country. Well, Athlete's Day is still celebrated. This event is a great occasion to say warm words to them.

Admire strength and courage

Wishes to athletes should express your admiration for their endurance and patience. After all, daily training requires a lot of effort. Remind the heroes of the occasion that sport is not just work, after which you can relax, get distracted, and relax. This is a lifestyle that requires all actions to be consistent with usefulness and expediency. Fill your congratulations with admiration for the courage of these strong and strong-willed people who delight those around them with their victories and achievements.

Congratulate professional athletes, trainers sports schools, instructors of various gyms and fitness clubs, physical education teachers in schools, lyceums and universities. Believe me, they will all be very pleased.

Wish you success

You should not be limited only to the Day of the athlete. Good wishes for the competition will also not interfere with the athlete. Do not forget that these people with their fruitful daily work give others a good mood and health. May sincere, warm and good words. They deserved them with their dedication and loyalty to the chosen cause. Wish them to "register" on the podium of the most prestigious competitions. Speak your wishes with pride and respect. Express your hopes that new achievements and new records await athletes in the near future.

It doesn’t matter what kind the hero of the occasion is doing. Whether it's hockey, football or chess, in any case, these people are athletes. And each of them demonstrates their talents in their own way. Be proud of the people who glorify their homeland in the sports arena. Wish them the conquest of new professional heights.

Put your soul into congratulations

For the most ordinary, familiar to all holidays, of course, congratulations will also be needed. For example, wishes to an athlete should also be distinguished by beauty and originality. Show a little imagination and choose the right words.

Congratulations can be serious or comic, in verse or prose. It all depends on what kind of person the hero of the occasion is. Most importantly, do not forget to say that his sports performance you are proud that you have high hopes for him and believe in his further victories.

If you are far away from your favorite athletes, congratulate them on the phone. You can use SMS. Before the competition, you can send a short wish-parting word. And after they're done, congratulations. And it does not matter at all whether he won a prize-winning place or not. Victory is just a matter of time and regular workouts. Of course, the path of an athlete is not easy. Therefore, it is very important for him to recognize his every achievement. It will be able to give him inspiration and strength for new achievements.

By the way, do not forget to congratulate the athletes also on June 23 - in After all, these games are the highest level of honor for them. Each state is proud of its Olympic champions and their awards are the pride of the country. Don't forget to wish the athletes that their names are inscribed in Olympic history.

In prose

Let's look at a few examples. What could be, for example, a wish to an athlete in prose? Let's say this:

“I will tell you a parable. Every Sunday, the man left the house in the morning to play tennis. He always returned at exactly noon. But one day he returned home only late in the evening. He began to guiltily justify himself to his wife, explaining his delay by the fact that on the way home he helped the woman change the wheel on the car. The lady wanted to thank him, and she invited him to the bar of a roadside hotel. As a result, they spent the whole day in the hotel. However, his wife did not believe these words a bit, saying that he lied, because, most likely, instead of ten games he played as many as forty. So I wish you that love for sports does not interfere with love for the opposite sex!

Or shorter:

“I wish your sport and you personally all the best! Win awards, get medals! Good luck in your future sports career!

Or like this:

“I wish you to be the Winner in everything - a man with a capital letter! And not just in your favorite sport. I wish you a great future in which you will win many victories!

In verse

Another option is congratulations in verse. Young athletes will especially like such wishes. So an example:

“Your profession is like that.

Forget dancing and dating.

Your arena, swimming pool and court.

Then - a tournament, competitions.

But don't forget about love.

You remember what genes are.

I wish you children

To be, like you, athletes!

In a word, there are many options. Just show your imagination. Tell the hero of the occasion warm words. And most importantly, from the heart!